Americans Are Calling The Police Over A Lack Of Toilet Paper

Americans are known to to silly things in response to small crises. Whether it is attacking people at McDonalds over chicken McNuggets, violence on Black Friday, or killing members of one’s family over sneakers/ding dongs/chicken pot pie or something else, there is a chance it may happen in the US. Noting this, police in Oregon are asking people now to refrain from calling 911 over a lack of toilet paper as Fox7NY reports.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” police in Newport, Oregon wrote. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

The post then pointed out the different methods used throughout history before suggesting other items that could be used in lieu of “your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue.”

Among their suggestions: grocery store receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, magazine pages, cotton balls and even leaves.

“Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper,” the post concluded. (source)

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