Christian Women on the Internet have reacted with anger after a fellow woman and Christian wrote an article saying that men prefer debt-free virgins with no tattoos:
An article and photo from a blogger arguing that Christian men “prefer debt free virgins with no tattoos” went viral this week, and received much pushback.
The piece, which was published Monday on the blog of Lori Alexander, who is known as “The Transformed Wife” asserted that “young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college” if they desire to be wives and mothers, and went to great lengths to explain why women should remain chaste.
“Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits,” Alexander argued.
Alexander also approvingly quoted a woman who wrote her recently who said that “the husband will need to take teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possibly way that is wrong.”
Alexander added that it is not right for a woman to bring financial debt into a marriage, urged them not to get tattoos, and said she will never understand women who prefer careers over babies.
When she posted the article on Facebook, she asked: “Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church.”
As of Friday, the post received over 47,000 reactions, more than 55,000 comments, and nearly 44,000 shares, with many people expressing their anger at how judged they felt. Alexander is followed by approximately 79,000 people on Facebook. She has defended her perspective on her page a few times since publishing the blog Monday, citing various scriptures.
Her words elicited strong criticism, including from people who say they conform to the ideal of womanhood Alexander supports and says is most biblical.
Author Trillia Newbell tweeted Monday a photo of the Facebook post, stating her disagreement with it.
“I never want to make it a habit to pushback on ministries. Ever,” Newbell commented.
“Yet this teaching will do such harm to women.”
Writing in Boundless this week, Erica Wilkinson recounted how Alexander’s post haunted her, noting that she read it with “mounting rage and disgust.”
“You see, I am a debt-free virgin without tattoos. I’m also a Reformed Presbyterian Christian, deeply immersed in the Scriptures, well versed in the history of the church and the writings of the Puritans. My mother and I live together in a happy multi-generational home. I can cook for any number of people from one to 100. I help homeschool my younger brothers. I am the exact woman you hold up as an ideal. I am the person you say young women should strive to be,” she said.
“But I’m still single.”
Wilkinson went on to explain that Alexander instructs women how to be what men want in order to deserve the best spouse.
“As if there is a long line of Prince Charmings out there ready to gallop in if only these girls would be good enough for them,” she said, exasperated.
“This isn’t what the Bible teaches,” Wilkinson continued. “This if/then religiosity leaves women feeling either guilty and worthless or — if they’re like I was in my early 20s — indignant and angry at God.”
She also took issue with what men supposedly prefer from her experience, and objected to the notion that the only way to please God is through Alexander’s prescription.
“There’s biblical evidence for women to work outside the home: Lydia was a seller of purple, and the Proverbs 31 woman was an entrepreneur (investing in real estate, making and selling linen). Deborah was a judge, for goodness’ sake. The idea that the only way to be a godly woman is to be a homemaker is just patently false.”
“My message to young women is not, as yours is, ‘Live a disposable life. Make yourself small. Erase your heart until a man writes what he wants to see on it.'”
Some men weighed in too.
Jarrid Wilson, who pastors at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Southern California, said Tuesday, linking to Alexander’s blog: Stuff like this breaks my heart. As if a women who is not a virgin, has tattoos, and is in debt is worth less than a woman who isn’t those things.”
“C’mon, Christians! We’re better than this.” (source)
Actually, this story didn’t come from this woman at all.
This has been a meme circulating on 4Chan and in MGTOW circles for a while, under the hashtags #NoHymenNoDiamond and #PoppedCherryDontMarry.
It has been around since about 2015, but in the last several months has been gaining traction in the “man” blogs.
But nothing proposed here is outlandish at all, especially as far as a woman is concerned. What this equates to is to not be a major financial burden, not a thot, and with a basic level of self-respect, three things which are acutely lacking in the Anglosphere and western world today.
Women expect many stipulations from a man. He is expected to be able to earn a living at or above a certain amount of money in order to maintain a certain lifestyle to support her and any children, to present himself a certain way, and to be able to purchase and maintain certain commodities such as a car, house, clothes, utilities, and others. All of these things cost money, meaning a man will have to work hard, often times for another man, spending his life, energy, and time in order to earn the income for such things. Many will indebt themselves to hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to do this.
The man also faces threats the woman does not. Due to “affirmative action” hiring policies, men find themselves increasingly on the legal defensive against people who would claim he violated their working rights, whether he did so or not. The primary targets do not come from race, but from women and the LGBT, both of which are veritably untouchable in the workplace and about which an employer will fire a person immediately if there is even a suggestion of a “violation.” The average man, in order to survive, necessarily finds himself having to abase himself before such people, which affects his perception of himself and of his employer. Given that large numbers of women have been hired, men now find themselves competing with women in the same job and as the labor force has doubled in size, employers have proportionately reduced or ceased increases in wages to salaries.
If the couple gets divorced, 70% of the time it will be the woman who will file, and almost 100% of the time she will be rewarded the children over the man, who will be required to pay for the children whether or not he can materially afford it, and the woman will not have to contribute anything. This has resulted in the wealth transfer mechanism that is the “family” court.
These are just a few of the issues that a man faces. Once he signs marriage papers, he has entered into a contract with the government on which the woman is able to dictate a majority of the terms and he has little to no recourse. It is no reason that so few people are getting married today, because between the bad attitudes and ideas of the women owing to poor parenting from their fathers in particular (or lack of a father), the laws which favor the exploitation of men, and the incredible legal burdern that men who enter a marriage assume (let alone the standard responsibilities), and considering how over half of marriages end in divorce, it is a nearly suicidal bet for many men.
Would you risk losing your children and having them be taught to hate you, your income, your job, your personal dignity, your home, and potentially be incarcerated with almost no legal recourse in a bet that is weighted at a greater than 50% chance of losing? You would be insane. Yet such is the modern marriage market in the US and much of Europe today.
However, there are still men who do want to get married because marriage is a natural institution. Men who want to get married, if they understand this reality, will naturally want to reduce their chances of being raped by the legal system, and the best way to do that is to avoid it all together, and to do that is to marry a woman who is worthwhile.
A woman with little to no debt often times means that she did not go to college, or if she did, she was financially frugal. The latter means that she will be able to manage money and will not likely encourage overly expensive purchases that put a man into debt in order to please his wife. In the former’s case, it means she will be more likely to stay at home and rely on her husband’s income, which again reinforces his role as head of the family and finance, and helps to protect from unnecessary expenses.
A woman who is a virgin is not a thot, and statistially speaking is least likely to divorce. Women with a low “count”, usually meaning under 5 total people, while statistically more likely than a virgin to divorce, it is still lower by comparison. Over 6 people, aside from the fact that it is gross to think about (would you want to eat a sandwich that six other people you don’t know have taken a bite out of?), the divorce rate increases drastically.
A woman with tattoos usually means that she has no respect. Men are not attracted to drawings of Disney cartoons, poorly written quotes, or marks that show she is “strong” because she survived trying to kill herself. Tattoos are primitive and pagan, and in western society were resigned to soldiers and prostitutes. Tattoos also permanently disfigure the body, and are often an unhealthy sign of mutilation. No average man wants to marry a woman who looks like a canvas from a beginner’s art class.
The “outrage” of women at this story and really, over the concept itself, exists because they are embarrassed at being called out on what is objectively savage behavior.
Women don’t want men who are fat, ugly, smell bad, have no job or job prospects, no dreams, no money, and sit in their basements eating chicken tendies and doritos all day on a shirt that has not been washed in weeks next to his waifu pillow and video game station.
Such a request is generally not unreasonable.
Likewise, it is very reasonable for a man to ask for a woman to not be a financial burden, not be a thot, and not be covered in permanent marks of self-abuse. Yet, so many women are willing to complain that men should “accept” them for “who they are.”
If that is the case, then perhaps women need to begin to accept the fat guy in the basement with the artificially-flavored cheese stains on his Star Wars Shirt on the use of the same reasoning. If not, which most of them will not, it exposes the existence of not even a double standard, but a complete lack of standards, saying the men must be accountable on many matters but women even on basic matters, cannot be held accountable at all.
There is a reason for the existence of rule and law, because without it any behavior can be justified. In terms of relationships, the society is crumbling because the family has been annihilated, and the family was destroyed by the destruction of relations between men and women, and this came about through the enforced legalization of female hypergamy, by allowing women not a place in society of equal dignity, but one of function, which is a grave error.
Men and women were created different for a reason. They have different roles, and different ways of responding to problems. While there can be “exceptions,” any exception does not make a rule, and owing to the justification of such there are no rules anymore except license, which is now destroying both genders.
The madness must end, and it ends by a return to standards.