Walid Shoebat

Dear Fredrick Murphy,

I want to thank you for pointing out what I did not know about Glenn Beck and that he “publicly says he believes Jesus Christ is his savior”.

Thank you also for clarifying that his non-belief in the Trinity is a non-issue and should not be exposed.

You are right. Who cares about this old, outmoded theory anyway? Indeed, we should “leave the salvation/end and final decision to God” and let that old father in heaven expose Glenn’s errors, not us. So I confess:

Mea Cupla
Mea Culpa
Mea Maxima Culpa

Thank you for your excellent advice, that I should look at Glenn’s “positives” while you so eloquently pointed out our “negatives”. Thank you for guiding us and for providing us with terms; comments rebuking the Shoebats are just fine, so long as no one rebukes Beck.

And also, thank you for showing how I did quote Beck when he was right. However, I wonder why you said we “should state the good with the bad with Beck”. This is confusing. Perhaps you can help and add to the necessary confessions I need to make. How am I anti-Beck? Help me count the ways. I admit that I was wrong to pick on his spiritual drives but his political positions never bothered me. In fact, I agree with many of them.

Moreover, you so eloquently stated in Glenn’s defense that the Temple Mount also belongs to Muslims, for the time being, of course:

“if you cannot hear Glenn TRYING NOT TO START WW3 on location (which he was warned ahead by Israel not to stoke fire that would cause Islamic rock-throwing demonstrations, turmoil, etc.) then you are being unbalanced and agenda-oriented …”

And I want to thank you for pointing out more logs in our eyes. Indeed, we must have been “unbalanced” and “agenda-oriented”. By no means should we undermine all the other devil-ridden obsessive traits which you exorcised when you said that we are “obsessed”, “venomous”, “childish”, have “thick skulls”, are “rude”, “bashers”, “mud-slingers”, “defensive”, “negative”, “stubborn”, and “deaf”.

And thank you for making sure that you’re setting such a clear example for us to follow by “not typing these words in a defensive spirit”. It’ll be greatly beneficial to me when I wonder how to treat my wife the next time we have an argument. All I need to do is add these words to my atonement vernacular when seeking forgiveness for such sins.

We agree, never “throw babies with the bath water” but what if a baby snake cobra was inside my bathtub? Do you recommend that I drain the bath water and embrace the cobra?

So let me see… what else? Oh yes, lest I forget, thank you for warning me not to start World War III by asserting a truism that the Temple is for Jews only. I was so wrong this whole time for praying that the war starts now instead of waiting until Iran and the entire Middle East gains more Nukes.

Oh yes, and thank you also for teaching me how to be “balanced”. Yes, this was good American advice we Middle Easterners lack; it was really good since it helps with my assimilation into this wonderful, spirit-filled, God-fearing and Gospel-driven society.

I am lost here, please help us find the way, the truth and the life. Help our Middle Eastern mentality understand the problem. We must be wrong again. The Bible is not a double-edged sword. What is apparently needed is a double-edged tongue, right? Perhaps you can help me conquer my hatred for Americanized Christianity, pray for me, and rebuke the “negative spirit” that infects my soul?

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good, Oh LORD, please don’t let me be misunderstood. Sometimes I find myself lonely praying …life has its problem and I get my share… I love rock and roll. Will it count toward our salvation if we sing this song to Jesus? Will doing so get us through the narrow gate?

After all, the American Glenn Beck read the whole Quran and concluded, “Islam is a peaceful religion”, that Joseph Smith is a savior too, that Dr. Zuhdi Jasser proved it, and that over a billion Muslims are following him to paradise. Jasser will lead Islam into the light and Islam can be moderated while Jasser leads us instead of Jesus. I fully agree with Glenn Beck. Geert Wilders is a “fascist” who needs old-fashioned Christian missionaries to help him find his way. The Mormons are already sending young, peach-fuzz faced, well dressed and groomed, bicycle-riding boys to Evangelize Muslims.

Hallelujah, or should I say Hallelu-Allah? What difference does it make?

Ok, ok, you were expecting this one:

Indeed, Geert Wilders, the secularist fascist was the only one who will not conform. In this interview between Beck and Wilders from last year, Glenn tried to soften Wilders’ heart but this Pharaoh’s heart hardened. Beck’s distaste for Wilders is not new. At the 8:38 mark in this clip is an excerpt from Beck in 2010, during which the then Fox News host essentially put Wilders’ extremism on par with that of Stalin:

Wilders is a bit unlike Robert Morris, who now, through Glenn’s persuading charisma, says that “Mormons worship God”:

Thank God Glenn is bringing in the most respected pastors in America to share in Mormon-Love. Now Jerry Falwell Jr. is defending Mormonism:

Thanks to Glenn, we now should never attack any other faith:

And lest I forget, Franklin Graham now says that Mormonism is no longer a cult:

I am also ashamed to have debated Jasser on TV and thought I won, since Jasser was not able to point to a single major Islamic scholar anywhere in the Muslim world who was willing to abandon Shariah; shame on me. It must be my pride-filled heart; Jasser was that Muslim scholar we were all looking for.

God bless Joseph Smith for saying that Islam is from God. And since you opened my eyes, I will soon be announcing that I will convert to Mormonism; it is – after all – a better choice from this aggressive, in-your-face Christian message of hell-fire and brimstone.

So please help my simple, Middle Eastern, unassimilated, less-than-complex mind. I propose that the Ministry of Rebuke always be active when it comes to myself, you, Glenn Beck, George W. Bush, Franklin Graham and whomever else undermines Scripture. Would pointing out their errors without posting every good thing they did be “throwing the baby out with the bath water” or do you suggest I refrain from saying any negative thing whatsoever?

You propose we never rebuke Glenn Beck and that it was ok for him to say that the Temple is for all three religions. It was, after all, “about the right for Jews to access only” while the Muslims have the whole pie. My examples on how Israel fought to liberate the Temple from Antiochus Epiphanies indeed is a bad idea. Who reads the apocrypha anyway? Judas Maccabaeus was “extremist”, “unwise”, and “unbalanced” in his dealings with Antiochus. Oh, and the Jews should stop celebrating that stupid festival called Hanukah, lest they hurt the Syrians who produced Epiphanies. After all, Glenn Beck is the savior of Israel in our day and not emulating that over-the-top, extremist, stone-slinging Judas Maccabeus is the preferred course if that is so, right?

After all, like Glenn Beck, Muhammad did proclaim Jesus as Messiah; he also made peace with the Jews and even wrote the entire Meccan suras which supported the Jews. Now, let’s assume we’re two stupid Jews who have been transported back in time, to the time of Muhammad. Do you suppose we should have rejected Muhammad? God forbid.

And now that we will have an Antichrist coming, who will support Israel and give them a peace treaty? Should we also trust him too and allow him access to the Temple? Indeed, we should, Jesus Himself said: “blessed are the peace makers”. We should accept Antichrist since he too will support Mormonism and Islam, Beck’s favorite choices to establish peace.

Oh yes, lest I forget… I need one more thing – your proposal that Glenn Beck is the next biblical Cyrus was brilliant. Indeed, making Glenn Beck a “Cyrus” was a wiser choice from my “Glenn Beck is a wolf in sheep’s clothing” or a “baby cobra in my bathtub”.

But tell me, how can we tell who’s right unless we debate Glenn, write out our arguments, and have the public review which one of us is correct? Oh, I see. “Glenn Debate” is an “obsessive” “compulsive” behavior. Indeed, let’s ban Beck debates too. Ok, should we then stop writing articles on the monumental grand theft of intellectual property Beck did from Breitbart and countless others?

I think we should. You’re right. Beck is “DESPERATELY NEEDED”. Even Israel agrees; they need Beck more than they need Jesus. And I fully do agree, as you stated, “THIS ISN’T GLENN WORSHIP”.

P.S. O Gosh darn it, see what you made me do? You critiquing me on critiquing Glenn Beck made me write more critique. I need to do more penance.

O gosh darn it again, I should not use the word “penance” lest I get accused of being Catholic when I am a closet Mormon.

Mea Culpa … Mea Culpa … Mea Maxima Culpa

Signed,
Walid (and Theodore) Shoebat

Note: the quotes from Murphy are real.